Ridiculous Recaps | Wizard of Aus, Ep. 3

We’re starting right in the middle of a six-episode series with this one and I have no context for this series other than a friend telling me ‘ah. Yes. Sex jokes. Prepare yourself.’

So that’s not foreboding at all.

Based on the series title, my only real guess was ‘Wizards in Australia’. So we’ll see.

We’re opening on a castle which is very fantasy and I’m here for it. Apparently we’ve landed right in the middle of some kind of relationship drama where a scraggly bearded man is loudly and sarcastically apologizing for not being wealthy. I think.

I got slightly distracted when the Scraggly Bearded Man threw a fireball at a wall. Folks. I think we have ourselves a wizard.

We’re going full on fantasy.

Back to the argument. It’s definitely about ‘another man’ which is your standard fantasy trope. As to the ‘not rich enough’ rationale being the source of this argument,  I was on board with this theory until Scraggly Bearded Wizard apologized for not being born with a diet of ‘jewels and gold and hay’.

Hay? What? I’m going to assume this is Rumplestiltskin turning hay-into-gold related?

Oh. No. It’s not.

He’s talking to a unicorn. A unicorn. He’s being broken up with by a unicorn as her horse-parents sit downstairs and eat dinner. Right. Sure. Um. I don’t even know what to do with this information.

This is one of those moment where I’d love to have context.

On the positive side, Scraggly Bearded Wizard’s name is Jack. Houston, we have a name.

The unicorn is breaking up with Jack to date a horse. Naturally, Jack is upset about this. This actor has gone through the full range of emotions from anger to sadness in the first minute and I really appreciate how much he’s putting into it. A+. There’s literally spit flying.

I mean that sincerely, no neigh-saying at all.

Also, we’ve hit the horse puns section of our show.

So as much as I’m enjoying this actor, the Scraggly Bearded Wizard and his yelling is not someone I’m a fan of and good on the Unicorn Princess for leaving. She can do better. I wish her all the best as she flies off into the moonlight with her floating suitcases.

And then Jack wakes up.

At which point I have no idea if this was just a weird dream or if it was a flashback. What I do know is that our Scraggly Bearded Wizard sleeps with a toy horse and I don’t know how to feel about that.

The painting above his bed is talking.

The painting is his condescending dead father.

The painting is making sex jokes.

It’s quite possible that I’m not the intended audience for this particular web series. Still, we carry on! I’ve also learned that wizards are hatched from an egg and our Scraggly Bearded Wizard is no longer using magic.

We flash forward to some kind of office with a lovely WOC who is helpfully wearing the nametag ‘Kylie’.  I think she’s some kind of therapist or motivator? Regardless, she quickly suggest that Jack start going on dates. He thinks Kylie means that she wants to date him. She tells him no. He backtracks and says he didn’t want to anyway.

She’s not buying it but moves on.

Also, this show does the swearing. Young humans be warned. Assuming the whole horse sex implication thing wasn’t enough to warn away the young humans.

Now it’s time for more fun wizard facts like the fact that if two wizards do the kissing-thing with each other then they both die and turn into a ‘frothy gelatinous sex ball’. This world is so weird in the best way and I have so many questions about the broader world building.

Thankfully, the show has apparently caught onto this and gives us some of Jack’s past love life that happily includes other tidbits about this world. He was engaged to an elf once, offered her a ring, and she turned into evil Galadriel from Lord of the Rings. ‘He will love her and despair’. The whole thing.

So that didn’t exactly work out. Then came the unicorn. Who he was apparently married to… so the opening sequence wasn’t just a dream then. It was a flashback. As Jack tells this story he makes tiny paper unicorns and I’m torn between cute gesture or creepy and clinging. Frankly, I’m really still caught up on the ‘she’s a horse’ bit.

Credit: YouTube

Credit: YouTube

Then the horse jokes turn into horse sex jokes and I’m mostly just uncomfortable.

Enter speed dating. Which Jack apparently does with his therapist.

I would like to see her certification please because that doesn’t sound right.

She tells him not to be nervous. Jack says that he isn’t but then I get to learn the plot point where if Jack lies, the truth appears across his forehead in big red letters. Hint. He’s actually very nervous.

I don’t think this is going to end well for him. Just a hunch.

As the longest of the episodes, we stopped here to make it fair. All in all, I’d say that I’m probably not the target audience for this one but I can see where the appeal would lie. It’s really raunchy humor. The special effects like the fireball and the forehead writing are done well for a web series while things like the unicorn parents are intentionally played off for laughs. The world itself has fantasy tidbits that speak to a broader universe. Lots of camera coverage. Good lightning and audio.

In the hands of the right audience, you can definitely see the quality that is pulling off 200,000+ views an episode. 

Written by Aria Bauer